Crossing paths with a psychopath

I had the misfortune to cross paths with a psychopath and his cult at the worst moment in my life. And at that time I had no idea what a psychopath was, when a sect was or how manipulation worked.

Even though it was a very low point in my life (and I realise now that made me very vulnerable), I wasn't looking for a group, or friendship, I'd simply signed up for a course several months previously to learn new 'communication skills'.

That was the first contact, and during the course a seed was planted and the indoctrination continued.

For a couple of years I was stuck in a sect without knowing it, not only working for the two psychopaths that ran it, but also living for them. My whole life revolved around their ideas, their way of working, their way of thinking, etc.

Within a very short time of meeting them I changed, without knowing it was occurring, my values, by way of thinking, of seeing and of understanding the world. My relationships with my long-time friends and my family changed. For me anyone who did not accept the ideas of the leader, and therefore what I was saying, was an ignoramus, somebody who didn't want to evolve, and therefore someone that I must not or didn't want to spend time with.

During that time used to say that I was very happy, I was always very busy doing courses all the time, and filling my time with things to do. I had frequent changes of moods and many emotional ups and downs (euphoria-sadness-Joy-melancholy…), and I began to not understand what was happening because it didn't make sense that I had done so much training and had practised so much and nevertheless I couldn't reach the objectives that the leader had given me.

That made me feel very tired, disappointed and unable to understand what was happening. However, I couldn't leave the group. Thinking about leaving made me feel really bad, as if I was betraying the leader and " after all they had done for me".

Eventually thanks to a really good friend who had a lot of patience, I was able to leave. It wasn't easy, for many months I had lots of internal struggles, and contradictory ideas and feelings were normal.

I attended therapy with an expert psychologist who helped me to understand how manipulation works, what are the techniques, I read about the topic and I was able to understand how I had been the victim of mind control. The journey of recuperation has been long and very hard at times, but I'm very happy to see where I am today and the journey I have taken.

If I had to describe my emotions after leaving the cult, I would say that at the start that I believed that this person had helped me a lot and I couldn't imagine that there was any evil inside him, in fact I felt guilty for having thought bad of him, until I began to discover his lies while investigating his own education and his past. In that moment I started to feel a lot of anger and pain for all that he had done to me, for how he treated me, the time and the energy that he had robbed from me.

Now I have healed the wounds, I understand what I've lived and I feel calm and peaceful. And above all, I understand that I was not to blame for what happened to me. I had the bad luck to cross paths with a psychopath in the worst moment of my life…

I find the information in this website very useful, thanks for the opportunity to write my story. I hope it is useful for others.

C.C.

Comments for Crossing paths with a psychopath

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Best revenge is undoing the mind control!
by: David

It's always a pleasure to know that people have been able to undo the twisted ideas imposed by cult leaders and take control of their own lives again. Well done.

And great picture!

Thanks for writing,

David.

No help from anyone until I was beat!
by: Marla Vasquez

I don't know where to start. My life was normal. I worked for the federal government for 24 years, directly helping others.
Unfortunately, I met a man and fell in love with him. I did not know this meeting would turn my life upside down.
Bradley was charming and good looking. He was a controlling, manipulative sociopath.
My family believed this when he forced himself around me.
I wanted this man. He made sure to push them out of my life, he desired my cars, kicked in my doors in my home, destroyed a new telephone I purchased, and manipulated me twice to discontinue with restraining order request. The San Bernardino police were no help.
I moved to an apartment and quit my job to get away from Bradley, he took up a relationship with a co-worker of mine... to find my new apartment, to find me.
I was no longer going to my usual place of work and my home. If he saw me in passing, I would have to waste gas as he would follow me...
Eventually, Bradley found my apartment. I had a temporary restraining order, and even had the San Bernardino sheriff service him...
Allegedly, they were unable...
Each day Bradley was at my apartment, and even broke a window to let himself in... each day I called the police, they came took reports and NOTHING... I stilled owned my home, I left in

Thanks for writing
by: David

Maria,

If you'd like to contact me through the contact page, we can arrange to put your story on it's own page. I think it would make more sense like that!

It was obviously a nightmare for you and if you'd like to talk more about it, you can reach me through the contact page as well.

Thanks for posting.

David.

Psychopath born or made?
by: Anonymous

My experiences with a psychopath... It is my adopted child.

He came home with a box of documents and asked me to help him with his claim for govt benefits, He presented as a confused, lost person. This was a college educated, former military brass...

He would do strange things, he would tell very detailed gross stories about dead bodies, shockingly with little or no emotion - all intended to pull on my heart strings so I would rush in and "help", assist, protect and defend him. I now know these "acts" were to trauma bond me.

I spent 2 years going with him to doctors and even sitting in on his appointments. I attended to all his needs, and he pretended he could not remember how to do anything... his word salad, his lack of emotion, and inappropriate mood earned him many diagnoses, to include Anti-social personality, bi-polar disorder, PTSD, etc.

However, as we made progress he would start to "celebrate" by engaging in dangerous behaviors, totaling three new vehicles, assaulting elderly people, hurting small animals, larger animals, then me.

He had been heaping on the thank you and being very sweet, then he started a game of push me, pull you. Distancing then hovering. Moving into my space at odd times, slowly teaching me the involuntary flinch.

Then he decided I knew too much after I had to hospitalize him... He changed tactics and started a smear campaign. I started hearing all kinds of strange stories. At this point I began to doubt him. I started to investigate, and what I found was truly disturbing. A pattern going back several years of violent relationships, bad job performances, being fired from work.

I am in the middle of the smear campaign and a court battle for an order of protection, trying to keep him from obtaining new firearms... He is text book, even playing at being his own lawyer...

How he got this way is a combination of DNA (his birth father was a serial abuser) and too many bangs and blasts to the head is my guess... but it is terrifying, sad beyond words.

He is now gas lighting his pretty new therapist. He is scapegoating me, he now claims he is a victim of Munchausens by proxy. I mean really!!! This from a 100% mentally certified disabled person...?

I went NC 3 weeks ago... No power on earth will ever let him into my life again...

I saw, I read, and I understand what a psychopath is - medium intelligence, no remorse, it is all a game to relieve boredom... nothing more.

Living in fear... NYC

Learn more!
by: David

Hi,

It's important that you learn more about how this person manipulated you, what tactics he was using and what effect they had on you.

By undoing the pseudopersonality, the fear will disappear and you will be in a much better state to fight back.

If I can help in any way, please ask!

David

vardagens osynliga våld och misshandel (everyday unseen violence and abuse)
by: Christina Sweden

Hej!
Förstår situationen, fruktansvärd osynlig misshandel, är själv utsatt för likadan personlighet. Intressant att se att polisen fungerar lika dåligt som i Sverige, jag är svensk. Här finns mycket lite kunskaper om psykopati narcissism, medborgare som blir utsatta får ingen hjälp, finns minimalt med kunskaper. Jag är oerhört glad att jag hittat denna sida, via en svensk sida som heter "det angår oss alla".

Många hälsningar

Christina

Google Translate:

Hey!
Understand the situation , terrible invisible assault, myself a victim of the same personality. Interesting to see that the police work just as bad as in Sweden , I am Swedish . There is very little knowledge of psychopathy, narcissism , citizens who become victims receive no help, there is minimal knowledge . I am extremely happy that I found this page via a Swedish site called the " concerns us all " .

many greetings

Christina


Something wrong with me?
by: May

I was really happy when our friend got a girlfriend. He was the best friend ever, nice personality and kindhearted, but low self esteem.

I lived with a psychopath for many years until i got out but now I'm in a good relationship.

My friends girlfriend had been in an abusive relationship and had the same as me, ptsd, she said. I felt sorry for her and she seemed so nice.

Then my friend started changing. He couldn't talk as long anymore because he had to help her as she had injured herself. She couldn't work so he had to do everything in the house and pay all bills. She started to make claims that he was abusive and had hit her, how lucky he was to have her etc. and i just froze. These were the same sentences my ex had used.

i tried to talk to him about it but i got a full frontal attack. She even cried and lied. Everyone else but my fiance likes her, since she is so sweet and charming and 'poor little her'. I am the bitch, even if she sent cpa on me for child abuse (not true and case was dropped).

i am scared for my friend but also starting wonder if i am suspicious and misjudging her? Maybe she is sweet. He seems in love even if she say he is ugly and he just vaguely tries to correct her about the abuse she claims he did.

Why is it just me seeing her jokes about divorcing him and taking the kids they still don't have as warnings? Is she joking? She has it on paper he has hit her since she told her therapist. To me it seems like she is building a case even before they have kids.

So I am wondering if I am paranoid due to having lived with one like that or am I right in what she is?I have lost several friends over this since she cries with full on tears and wants to be treated right.

I had a friend before who killed himself when he got dumped by a girl that acted the same way and I am now scared i might lose another friend. At the same time I have started questioning myself since we are the only two who feels she is manipulating everyone. Any advice or meanings would help me, thanks.

You are right!
by: David

Hi there, it seems to me that you are right about this woman being a manipulator. The difficulty is that most people don't understand what a psychopath is capable of and are easily fooled, especially by tears. The psychopaths know that tears act very strongly to manipulate the emotions of others and elicit pity. This is a powerful emotion for humans and makes them want to take care of the person 'in trouble'.

The other thing you should understand is the idea of pseudo personalities. Those who are fooled by her are fooled because they have been tricked into thinking that she is a nice, caring person. They will not be able to accept information that shows her in another light.

And the reason she is going after you is that you are a threat to her. You can see what she is like and are trying to warn others about her. Hence the attacks on you.

And I agree, your friend is in a very bad situation and needs someone to help him out of it.

If you want more detailed info, you can write to me on the contact page on this site.

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