The "Simple Sweet Nurse" Who I Will Always Be Afraid Of PART 2.

by Dylan
(Seattle,Wa)

I was now living with her. I was working a manual labor job which her half sister's husband had hired me onto.

A new trade. I enjoyed it. I had been working there for a few months before I'd moved in with her.

I started having more and more gut feelings and doubts about her character. Many weekends we'd drink, drug or party but I'd often find myself with a plethora of questions.

Half the time I was just analyzing her demeanor. She seemed more and more off as time went on.
She would take a long time to answer questions. Conversation seemed unnatural and she seemed to not have a real personality but be responding solely with answers she thought were "right". I felt insane for feeling this way.

I was often urged to play detective on her phone. An unnatural immature desire that made me feel unwell and unhealthy. It was not something I think I actively desired.

Even then. I felt like she had desired these feelings to arise in me. As if she were pulling strings but I had no tangible evidence to point to to say "Here! This is you being a problem.."

I did not DESIRE to find a flaw or misdeed in my partners lives previously since maturing and again this felt very nauseating to me. Nevertheless on a few occasions I found them.

The first was a text to whom she said was her husband's step mother. The conversation had started with regular casual greetings. The girlfriend then proceeded to complain about life being tough for her right now. Not having a running vehicle was her main complaint.

We both had running vehicles which were not having any issues.

I packed my shit and bounced. My gut felt really funny.

I wasn't even going to confront her or ask. I just left.

I went back to where I was staying previously and explained what was going on. Or tried to. The two close people I had just presumed would be automatically supportive were confused as to why I'd left. I was spinning in confusion trying to figure out where to start.

I felt too ashamed to even say I'd looked through her phone and I ranted about the gut feelings confusion and my suspicion of her being a covert narcissist. I made up a lie about her having cheated.

PART 3 coming sometime in the future. Thanks again.