Mind Control Trick

What is it?

The mind control trick that distinguishes mind control from brainwashing is in how the manipulator is perceived by the 'victim'. In brainwashing, the manipulator is an obvious enemy. Often physical force is involved. The person may be in a position where their life depends on conforming to the wishes of the manipulator.

The mind control trick is that the victim thinks the manipulator is a friend, or a teacher, someone who has their best interests at heart.

This means the manipulated person is a willing participant, they believe they are being helped and taken care of. They believe they are making their own decisions. This makes it more dangerous than holding a gun to someone's head!!

We explained here how a psychopath will very rapidly create an intimate bond by assessing their victim's personality and creating a persona that will be attractive to that personality.

The psychopath gives 4 messages.

  • 1. I like who you are
  • 2. I am just like you
  • 3. Your secrets are safe with me
  • 4. I am the perfect friend, partner, companion, lover… for you!
Let's have a closer look at how and why these messages deceive the victim into thinking the psychopath is a friend.


I like who you are

We all want to be liked. We want to be noticed and we want to be accepted. We all like compliments. Having someone notice us (when most people are preoccupied with themselves) is flattering in and of itself.

Accepting and reinforcing someone's persona is an incredibly powerful method to get them to like you. And psychopaths will do it in a very charming, and disarming, manner! They are experts in this mind control trick.


I am just like you

Based on what the psychopath knows about you, from what you said, but more importantly from his assessment of you, the psychopath begins to share details about his own life. It seems like he's letting down his guard. However, frequently it's just lies. Because the things he shares with you are issues that are important to you. This begins to strengthen the bond.


Your secrets are safe with me

Because they are sharing 'intimate details' with you, it's easy for you to let down your guard and to begin to talk about yourself. After all, you feel that you're in the company of somebody who actually understands you, who understands you at a deeper level than most people do. You trust that this person is different and you get further sucked in by this mind control trick.

The psychopath is fulfilling another one of our basic psychophysical needs, safety and security.


I am the perfect friend, partner, companion, lover… for you!

So you think you found somebody who really understands you and accepts you for who you are, 'warts and all'. The more information you give the psychopath, the more the persona he projects seems to be a good match for you.

He builds a strong reputation of him in your mind, perhaps with similar weaknesses, perhaps with abilities that you would like to have. The relationship is different and special in many ways.

The psychopath has done his work to get to this point, and now your fate is linked to this psychopathic bond.

As mentioned, this can occur in one-to-one relationships with a psychopath or narcissist, in a work situation or in group settings.


Is this not normal?

So why are these considered basic mind control techniques? Don't these things occur between husband and wife, for example? Of course they do.

Signs of an abusive spouse

The difference is that the psychopathic relationship is not real. The persona of the psychopath is manufactured. As far as the psychopath is concerned, there is no such relationship. He has simply manufactured it to manipulate you. He has told whatever lies necessary to convince you of one thing, while he is organizing something else.

One psychopath said "(In a relationship…) if you don't know who is leading, you are being led by the nose."

That means there was no informed choice on your part. The psychopath chose you deliberately because of the benefits to him. You have no idea what's actually happening.


It won't last...

These relationships don't last, in two ways. As soon as you're hooked, the psychopath changes and does only the bare minimum to maintain the relationship. All the initial ' supposed' care, attention and love may disappear. For example, if a psychopath builds such a relationship with a man and then marries him, her behavior towards him can change dramatically, to manipulative and abusive.

The second manner in which it does not last is when the psychopath has no further use for the person and discards them. Literally. The person is left bewildered, not understanding what happened, and even wanting the psychopath back!


It's all about power!

These relationships have a power imbalance, with the power obviously being with the psychopath. This is the objective of this mind control trick - to win and keep the power and control over others.

(The power imbalance means that there is no informed consent in sexual relationships where one party is under mind control. This means it is legally sexual aggression or sexual abuse.)

Most people like to think that there is some good in everyone. Remember how we form first impressions based on our beliefs and values? Most people expect others to be good, respectful and honest in their relationships, and this is what they look for in others.

One of the reasons socialized psychopaths are so successful is that normal people don't believe that such evil exists. Evil is a common word in the description of psychopaths, because it's not simply a matter of taking advantage of other people, these are social predators hunting for victims. Like reptiles, they have no conscience!

There are quite happy to use this mind control trick to abuse people psychologically, emotionally, sexually, physically and financially, all without guilt or remorse, or the slightest consideration for their victims!



If you feel that you are in a relationship that is almost perfect, and it has happened very fast, use this as a signal that you need to stop and re-evaluate what is happening. Or if you are noticing that Mr. Perfect is turning into a controlling boyfriend, this is an opportunity to stop mind control before you are badly affected.



Okay, now that we have examined this basic mind control trick, let's look at some other mind control tactics that are used to control and manipulate others or you can read about brainwashing techniques or what it's like being in an abusive relationship.

Like this page?


Would you like to talk to someone about your situation?

If you think you are or have been in a cult or a destructive relationship, or a friend or family member might be in a cult and you want to talk to someone, send me a message on the Contact page and we can arrange to talk. All communication will be treated in the strictest confidence.

Available now!

54 tips image
54 Practical Tips For Dealing With Psychopaths and Narcissists

You have the theory but how do you actually apply it? This book spells it out...

Find out more

Mind Control Manual

mind control manual s

Vital concepts about mind control, cults
and psychopaths

Do you think that you might be in an abusive relationship? Are you realizing that the group you are in may be a cult?

This manual will give you a different perspective!

What Is Narcissism?

what is narcissism small

A practical guide to protecting yourself

Do you think you are being taken advantage of emotionally, physically, sexually or financially in your relationship? Do you want to leave but you can't seem to get away?

Learn how to break free, and why you need to!

Tips for dealing with psychopaths and narcissists

Fortnightly newsletter with practical tips and ideas
Learn more...
'7 Vital Do's and Don'ts of Decision Making' when you subscribe!