My now ex sweetheart is in a cult and doesn't realize it.

by Yvonne
(OR, USA)

There were tell-tale signs early on. We were supposed to get together for the weekend and then he called right when I was getting ready to leave to say he was told (by his leader, Wanda) that he had to spend the weekend meditating so he couldn't see me. I was very hurt by this.

Later he said he was being "lived through." He says that a lot. He does free web work for the "Diamond Group." He and the others are always in communication with each other on Facebook. He is on it constantly, worse then a teenage girl! He is 72, mind you. They seem to monitor each other this way.

The latest was he moved one of the assistant cult leaders, Theresa, into his home and told me our relationship is over because he has to focus on his spiritual work and I am a distraction. He removed everything of mine from the house and just dumped it in my carport.

He even bought her a new mattress. I do not embrace this group or their leaders. I am no doubt seen as an outsider and a threat to them. I have tried to be open and tell him to go be the spiritual warrior that he is, but that I preferred to have a balance between my spiritual work and my regular stuff. I was then seen as refusing to see the light.

The cult's assistant, Theresa, has him paying for everything, and now he is feeling guided to sell his business to another spiritual person for well below its actual value. His possessions are probably next and then he will likely wander around with her and be a bum like her. She sold all her things and wandered around Europe over a year ago. She is in her mid 50s, mind you, not a kid. She spent all her money in less than a year because she can't cook or garden and ate out and stayed in nice places when she wasn't mooching off people she knew in Europe.

This woman/ parasite has no practical skills other than living off her friends, but she is being guided by the spirits she is so wonderful.

He greatly admires this way of living or 'being lived through' as they call it. She does not like me and has evidently convinced him to have no contact with me.

The worst mind control happened when she convinced him to meet up with her in Kenya around Christmas to do some prayer walk. He lied to me that he was meeting her there. He told me I couldn't go. She put him in contact with a seer/ witch doctor who uses mind control.

When he returned home he was in a trance half the time. Could not work for months and kept saying he wasn't David anymore. He was very mean to me. It took months for me to get him to return to his senses, but now he is distant and weird again.

Many have advised me that I am better off with him gone. One psychologist friend told me he is a spiritual narcissist and to avoid him. I still care about him and am trying to fully understand what is going on here.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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Thanks for writing
by: David

Yvonne,

Helping someone in a situation like this is a big job. It means learning about the cult, the leaders and what techniques they are using as well as about pseudopersonalities, or the cult personality that the cult imposes on the members.

Dealing with the cult personality is very different from dealing with the real personality and it helps to know what to do in each situation.

If you would like more specific information, you can contact me on the contact page on this site.

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