When we talk about sex and mind control there are those who would like to be able to use mind control to get more sex and those actually using mind control for this purpose.
The first group is a reflection of the poor state of our society when people have to deceive and trick others into having sex with them. Fortunately, most of them are not very successful.
The second group is much more dangerous. The people to whom mind control and manipulation comes naturally are often psychopaths and they are often very good at it.
So good, in fact, that even when they are abusing people, these people cannot recognize it or cannot get out of the relationship because they have become so dependent.
So how does the sex and mind control thing work?
Psychopaths have been compared to chameleons in that they blend in with the people they are with. They very quickly make friends, pretending to be like the person or people they are with, having the same interests, being very understanding etc. You can read more about the details of how they build intimate relationships quickly here.
Whether this is in groups (as in cults) or in a one-to-one relationship, the results are similar. There is idealization of the psychopath by the victims. The psychopath encourages this adoration and the victims often consider that the person is a fantastic partner, enlightened, superhuman and so on.
Psychopaths manipulate people's emotions and recognize that sex and mind control are a powerful combination. If they can convert the relationship into a sexual one they begin to have much more control, because the person has opened themselves up in a much more intimate way.
A sexual relationship is also a more committed relationship and whatever about deciding on a first date that you have made a mistake, it's much more difficult when you are in a sexual relationship that you have make a mistake in your choice of partner.
Sex and mind control are a potent mixture used by psychopaths to build strong bonds with their victims and frequently the victims report that after a 'honeymoon' period, things change. The psychopath knows that their control of their victim is sufficient that they can now begin to do whatever they like. Their 'real' nature begins to show up, everything from heavy drinking, extramarital affairs, emotional abuse, physical violence, rape. The sex becomes for their gratification only, or to demonstrate their superiority.
Sex and mind control is also used in many cults to maintain control and manipulate the members. Remember that many cult leaders are psychopaths and the doctrine and rules are a reflection of them, and they typically have 'irregularities' in their sex lives.
Cult leaders realize that controlling people's sexuality can give them a lot of power. Changing the beliefs and values about sex is another way to destroy an individual's limits and boundaries and keep them within the group.
The sexual mind control in these destructive groups is very varied. Some groups advocate chastity. And even if they offer this as a way out of the stress of having to decide about sex, it is just another combination of sex and mind control that is used to manipulate the members.
The other extreme in sex cults is the idea of 'free love' where the members are supposed to have lots of partners, including the leader of course. Other groups control such details as who a member dates, who gets married, when and how the members have sex, how much 'power' the men have over their wives, and so on.
Sex and mind control often allows the leaders to prostitute the women (and men) to earn money, recruit new members, earn favors with politicians and influential people and even to blackmail powerful people if it's useful for the leader!
Psychopaths have also been compared to reptiles because they are predators without a conscience. They don't care what they do to people. They want power, control and sex and mind control gives them easy access to these things, so they just take them. In fact, sexual submission is often the last step in the objectification of the victim, the treating of a person as an object to be used.
The combination of sexual mind control is never good for the victims, whether it's in a cult or a one-to-one relationship such as therapist-client, or teacher-student. The imbalance of power means that there is no informed consent and therefore it constitutes sexual abuse. Any benefits that may have existed at the start of the relationship are contaminated. Sexual relationships between those with power and those in their care are never justified.
When undoing mind control, those who have suffered sexual abuse have special considerations. They may have amnesia for traumatic events, they may initially deny it or not want to discuss it. It is often only after some period of recuperation that they are ready to deal with it.
Some researchers suggest that people who have suffered sexual mind control may suffer from the following effects and that they may be acute, delayed or chronic.
This is why working with professionals to undo the effects of mind control and sex abuse is useful. Confronting the experiences and working through them is important to re-establish one's own identity and develop the ability to have healthy intimate and sexual relationships once again.
Download a copy of Janja Lalich's article "Domination and Submission: Psychosexual Exploitations of Women in Cults" here
Sex and mind control are a powerful combination. The mind control allows a sexual relationship to develop and once it becomes sexual mind control, the level of power and domination by the abuser increases tremendously.
Would you like to talk to someone about your situation?
If you think you are or have been in a cult or a destructive relationship, or a friend or family member might be in a cult and you want to talk to someone, send me a message on the Contact page and we can arrange to talk. All communication will be treated in the strictest confidence.
You have the theory but how do you actually apply it? This book spells it out...
Do you think that you might be in an abusive relationship? Are you realizing that the group you are in may be a cult?
Do you think you are being taken advantage of emotionally, physically, sexually or financially in your relationship? Do you want to leave but you can't seem to get away?
Want a cost-effecive way to free that spirit and teach it how to make money?
Things you should know!