I suppose in life, we go down the path we know all too well. I had been raised by a narcissistic mother and that allowed me to run from her... into the arms of another!
Public and private rages, physical and verbal abuse was something I didn't deal with too well. I knew it was wrong to treat someone like he had treated me, and the other women he had treated like myself.
I was now in a particular group - all his past relationships had ended with them getting restraining orders, warrants... or escaping in the night.
I was to be no different, it would just take me many years longer to leave.
The blame. Well... it was always my fault, whatever it was, and wasn't his fault. He couldn't take any blame, guess he thought he was too good, too smart or whatever, just couldn't be blamed for anything. When I was beaten, it was always my fault... never his fault.
Praises, praises, praises. That's what he expected all the time... and to be treated like a king. I couldn't show anyone, or anything, any special treatment or I would be doing something wrong. It had to always be about him. If I spent too much time cleaning the house, I was ignoring him, his needs.
My goodness, he might have wanted to have sex with me for 10 hours... I should have thought of his needs and wants before anything else! That's how he thought, that's what he expected all the time.
Don't tell them any secrets, they will use them against you, even though they begged for the information. I trusted him, to tell him things... things I had never shared with anyone else before. He tried to use those things to make me go back to him in the end.
These people are monsters, can't live with them...
I left, after 12 years. You can too. Life is great now!
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