i recognized her as a psychopath

by Maya
(Norway)

We had this male friend for several years. He has always been a bit vulnerable and insecure. We have supported and helped him build his self esteem. He often came visiting and we were very glad when he finally got a girlfriend. We talked a lot on skype to keep in touch and that's when my worries started.

My friend often told me his girlfriend started to argue with him to get him to turn his attention towards her and not his friends. I started to recognise signals I had seen once before when a different friend of mine ended up killing himself after being left mentally destroyed by his girlfriend from years of mental abuse. So my worries increased about them coming to visit us.

She denied him traveling alone since she was jealous of a neighbor that had showed interest in him. and i could understand that and i was willing to give her a chance to prove my worries wrong.

The visit soon went down the drain and horribly wrong. She was trying to manipulate everyone with tears, charm and anger. We watched our friend crumble before our eyes as she started telling us how ashamed she was to go to stores with him because he was too polite. She spoke about how he had tried poisoning her and he couldnt cook as good as she did. And she had a tantrum when he did cook and the kids loved his food.

She also told us her therapist had found she had ptsd because of an old boyfriend and the therapist also urged her to leave our friend since he, too, was abusive. She told us he had hit her with a closed fist, upon which he tried to explain he had hit out and hit her with an open hand after she threw a cat on him which had dug its claws into him. She got furious and raised her voice demanding that it was a closed fist and really hard. Then when we all just got quiet she stopped and started talking about her big day and wedding dresses.

Our friend said yes they had been thinking of getting married in a few years. She had already picked shoes, ordered rings etc. so i think his marriage is closer then he expects. She was constantly bored and demanding attention. We bent over backwards to avoid her being bored and having tantrums of tears and anger.

i was so drained when I went out to get away and have a cigarette. She followed all giggling and happy, totally misunderstanding a situation that just happened. She believed I used the same manipulation on my fiancé (which wasn't true, but since she only noticed half the story, she believed that). I let her rant on listening with half an ear. She told me men were so easy to manipulate and she often aggravated him on purpose so he would stay away from talking to friends and take her out after they had angry sex.

After a rant she asked me what I thought of their relationship and the marriage. I bluntly told her that if she cared for him she would stop manipulating him and she needed to grow up if she wanted it to last. I really stepped in it. The deadly silence told me so.

She didn't do or say anything bad but her eyes were frightening. i went to bed early that night.

The next day our friend had a blow out on us, yelling in anger about how we treated his girlfriend as a dog. She had been crying and was upset over me treating her as a dog. The incident in question was where I sat by the pc looking up things we could entertain her with and I found something, I called her name and asked her to come and look. Her reply was "Not until you say please".

Flabbergasted, I replied back "No, I won't say please since i am sitting looking for stuff for you to do". Thereafter, she went to the guest room sulking and told her boyfriend that I had treated her as a dog.

I told my fiancé what had happened and he tried telling our friend. All I wanted was for the next 2 days to be over so she was out and never came back. So i told my fiancé i didn't want any arguments and to let it go. But our friend wanted to hear what was going on and they sat us both down then asked what had been said. I got a few words out then she raised her voice in anger, shouting furiously at me.

My fiancé told her to sit down and shut up. I tried again and the same thing happened. The third time her boyfriend told her to stop and he wanted to hear. She started shouting now at my fiancé calling him names and being rude and impolite. She went on and on about how she was a human being and needed respect, how impolite we were in not seeing to her needs since she was used to better. I did not handle it well and I told her she was a guest but it was my house and I refused to treat her any better then my own family and friends since she wasn't royalty.

She screamed back about how she deserved respect. My fiancé shouted back that respect was earned not demanded. It ended up with her storming off refusing to listen to a mean and rude man and crying her eyes out. Our friend went after her to comfort her.

She demanded that they should go to our other friend's house and stay there for the rest of their days away. And they did. Evan though she had to sit in her room the whole time since she wasn't allowed come out to avoid arguments.

I was sure this was the last I would see and hear from her since she was from a different country. So I didn't see the attack coming.

She reported us to social services as bad parents, abusive and mean. Claiming our house was a health hazard and that our child should be put in foster care immediately. So I had unexpected visitors on my door. I had to show the whole house to social services and my daughter was interviewed. They did not believe her lies, thank god for that. Since my daughter has adhd i have a close cooperation with social services a child psychologist etc. due to her being severely bullied in school. They know us as a loving, caring family.

This female was fully aware of my daughters problems and how mentally weak she is. She still went after my kid to get revenge on us. She fully knew that my daughter had been abused by her dad and experienced violence, she knew my daughter is scared of being alone without us. She still went out of her way to harm my daughter in the worst way possible to get back at us for seeing her for what she was and not falling into the manipulation.

I lived with a male psychopath for years. And I have got to say I would rather take the beatings then the sneaky, mentally damaging way a female psychopath or sociopath behaves. I am not a shrink so I can not not say for sure that's what she is.

But she is shallow, scary, sneaky and using sex and charm to manipulate. Her empathy is non existent and it's all about her needs. She craves to be the center of all attention and demands to be the main focus and waited on all the time. If she gets bored her waterfall comes on until someone does stuff with her.

She isn't building her fiancé up but mentally driving him into the ground, with steady drips of poison on how lucky he is that she loves him since he is overweight or cant cook and comments about how he looks. The guy isn't overweight, he is actually a handsome young man. But now he is slowly getting isolated and he can't see it. She picks off his friends one by one telling lies about them and removing them. She also has it on record with her shrink that he is abusive and she is telling him in front of us that in a couple of years she will divorce him and take the kids. He will never see them. Then she laughs and pretends its a joke. The hair on my neck stood on end several times at her statements.

This is a very dangerous female. And I hope a lot of guys read this. Remember one thing, if you start losing several friends over your girlfriend it's time to look at her and read up about female psychopaths/sociopaths. Friends last longer then girlfriends.



Comments for i recognized her as a psychopath

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You are right!
by: David

This is a very dangerous person.

Unfortunately most people don't learn anything about psychopathy and mind control until it's too late and they are caught.

The trick for you is to notice these people earlier and have nothing to do with them.

You are allowed to throw people like this out of your house. Just because he is your friend, does not give her the right to abuse you..M

correction and update.
by: Maya

It was not the dangerous female sitting in her room, it was our other friend's stepdaughter since thats who she was jealous of. Poor girl sat there for 2 days to avoid upsetting the bad girlfriend.

The way up after living with a psychopath is long and hard. It took me over a decade to recover from my ex.

And what i have learnt from it is to watch out after the love bombing of feelings and perfectness. It starts with the small stuff, with things you take for granted and excuse. Comments that hurts even if they are masked as a joke.

A few examples...

you are so flabby, but i love you anyway.

you are lucky you got me even if you are socially awkward (then a giggle like its a joke).

lucky you got me since you cant cook etc. (you can add or change the words here)

it is meant to slowly break down your self esteem until the time is right.

then the removal of friends or family starts.

my ex started telling me my friends hit on him and so on.

this females comments about his friends was small poison drips about how they spoke to her how one of them was a pig, how boring they were etc.

I was a threat to her so she used harder ammo to scare me off with the social services for child abuse.

I never got to tell him what happened since she twisted the focus from me, to verbally attacking my fiancé. This resulted in a confrontation with him so she regained control and avoided me telling what happened. Our friend (or she) has removed us from all social media.

i knew when he hugged us bye, that it was the last time we would see him. And i whispered that to him, upon which he replied "no, next time I will come alone.

So it's not a good update. All we now can do is sit and wait and maybe pick up the pieces when or if he gets out.

myself am doing better after years of therapy. Good news was social services closed the case against us. I was able to tell them by whom and why the report had been made. I knew it was her even if it was anonymous.

If they hadn't had a close cooperation with us, the severity of the report would have meant instant removal of the child. They interviewed our daughter who bluntly called the psychopath a bitch.

Teenagers are so diplomatic :)

A good tip is that if a comment leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth, be alert. Listen to your friends if they try to warn you. People on the sidelines often see things more clearly.

And guys, educate yourself. Read the warning signs on this site. There are more of these females out there, it's not just men who are psychopaths!

It need not take years
by: David

One point about therapy... I recommend working with someone who specifically understands mind control and psychopathy, not just with someone who says they work with victims of psychopaths. Unless the therapist can help you understand the intricacies of mind control, they may actually do more harm than good.

And it should not take many years to undo a pseudopersonality, it should take about 12 to 18 months. So be wary of those who want to offer you years of therapy.

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