My Mother the Sociopath

by Laurie
(Spokane, Wash.)

For years I wondered what was wrong with my Mother. As a little girl I thought, "Why can't she love me?"

My parents also exposed us to a cult.

What was strange about my Mother was that although she was physically beautiful, she could turn on me like a wild animal. I never knew where or when it would happen. Her big brown eyes were suddenly filled with hatred, wildly grabbing my hair, swinging me, slapping, screaming all at the same time. She saw no need to apologize. She did not seem to need conversation, talking, holding. If she could not get a cry of pain the first time, she became more abusive.

Throughout the years she would exhibit an almost childlike victim routine if confronted about her behavior. What was really sick was no matter how bad the pain she inflicted, she felt NO remorse. Even as as we became adults and tried to say, "You hurt me." she would get meaner. Using the same techniques, shaming, laughing at us, outright LYING. ANYTHING but saying I'm sorry.

When I became a Mother myself, that's when I KNEW there was something wrong with her. Her anger permeated our home.

My father was not an alcoholic or a drunk. He began touching my brother and myself sexually while we slept. My father and mother ~ a pastor and wife. Yep… that's right. We got to see them teach, sing and minister to others.

Why do I write this now? I am 59years old. It still hurts!

My Mom had NO feelings when we cried out in pain, NO feelings of sorrow or remorse... even now. She just turned 80 years old. Still cutting at us with words. Cold as ice, and still believing she and my dad were specially chosen by God to minister. Hundreds of people heard their beautiful music. I was envied by my friends.

She could not LOVE. Sick sociopath. Dad, sick molester. Pastor.

I am well now... free. But it took a lifetime.

Comments for My Mother the Sociopath

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Have you considered not having contact?
by: David


Thanks for writing.

Have you considered having no contact with these people? As long as she continues to cut you with her words, she will continue to cause you pain and suffering.

You do not owe these people anything. There are lots of societal norms and rules about how you should treat your parents but when there are sociopaths involved, the rules are different.

The first thing is to look after yourself and if that means not allowing them to contact you so that they cannot continue the abuse, then that is a perfectly acceptable option for you.

I know it's not always an easy choice to make but when the pseudopersonality is undone and you understand how and why they did what they did, it becomes a much easier decision.

If I can help in any way, please let me know.


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