If you have been asking yourself "Am I in a cult?" here are some questions to help you decide.
Most people have ideas about what a cult is and if they believed a group was a destructive cult they would never join it. If someone thought they would lose all their money to a group, waste years of their lives, suffer sexual abuse, have someone make all their decisions for them and be dependent on the group, they would never agree to sign up!
So cults hide their real agenda and they attract people by creating a facade, a front, that they sell to unsuspecting new members. It is only later when a member is deeply involved and they see the lies, the incongruities and the fact that their life is not working that they typically begin to question what is going on.
So here are some questions to get you thinking so that you can answer for yourself the question "Am I in a cult?"
Have you noticed that the groups ideas have filtered into all areas of your life, work social, personal life?
Have your friends or family commented that you have changed and that they don't really like the changes?
Or have you noticed that you spend less and less time with your family and friends and more and more time with the group?
Do you find it boring or awkward spending time with people outside the group because they seem boring, or they don't understand the language of the group?
Do you believe that outsiders are not on the same level as you and other group members?
Do you consider that the groups ideas and beliefs are the way forward in sorting out the problems of the world?
Or have you thought that if only everyone knew this stuff the world would be a different place?
Has someone close to you told you that they think you are in a cult?
When you ask yourself "Am I in a cult?" you think straight away... "Of course not, I would never join a cult..."
If someone criticizes the leader, the group or the ideas, do you have to explain why they are wrong?
Is there a strong urgency to explain the benefits to those who are critical?
Have people said that you are pushy or obsessive about the group?
Do you sometimes feel like you know more than outsiders about life, about people, about the world?
Do you find yourself recommending the group courses or group techniques for many different types of problems?
Have you noticed that there is one set of rules for the leader, another set for the group members?
Do you think the leader is always right?
Does he change his mind whenever it suits him, and it usually for his benefit?
Does the leader make all the decisions, is the final judge, and is answerable to no-one but himself?
Do you feel very indebted to the leader and he or she is not afraid to remind you of this?
Read more about how to spot a psychopathic cult leader here...
Do you ever feel bad or guilty for not behaving as the leader/group says you should?
Does the group teach that you should live your emotions but at the same time you can control them?
Do you find that you have lots of very strong emotions, sometimes for no apparent reason?
Do you sometimes feel alone when there seems no real need to feel lonely?
Are you experiencing frustration because you can't seem to get the groups techniques to work for you?
Have you ever left a group meeting feeling angry and vowing never to return and you went back anyway?
Can you write down 3 defects or faults of the group's leader?
This may take you some time. In fact, you may not be able to do it. Or you think of a couple of things but you also have reasons why it's ok for the leader to be like that. You can justify or reason away the defects.
If you cannot name 3 defects, or you justify any potential problems, the chances are that there is more going on in the group than you are aware of.
By now you will have a clearer answer to the question "Am I in a cult?"
If you answered mostly yes, the chances are that there is mind control being used against you in the group.
I wrote The Mind Control Manual for people in exactly your position. It gives you an overview of what destructive cults are, the mind control processes and techniques used by cults to deceive and recruit new members and it describes the psychopathic nature of cult leaders.
When you read it, some things will be obvious to you and other things not so visible.
But I suggest you find out as much about cults and mind control as you can. Only by understanding how cults actually trick and deceive people can you get to the point of realizing that you have been recruited into a cult.
I understand that it's difficult to accept that you might be in a cult. Initially there are so many doubts and questions.
Even when you ask yourself the question "Am I in a cult?" sometimes the answer will seem like a 'yes', sometimes it seems like a 'no, it can't be'.
Don't waste more time or any more of your life. Find out more about your group, specifically from ex-members, and if you are in a destructive group, make the decision that you want to be free again...
If you'd like to talk to someone about your situation, you can contact me here.
Practical Tips for Dealing with Psychopaths and Narcissists ebook
In this book there is practical advice to apply straight away to protect yourself from the abuse, help to understand what is happening, and information about how to get out of the situation.
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Are you realizing that your life is not how you want it to be, despite following your group's ideas faithfully? Do you think that you might be in an abusive relationship?
This manual will give you a different perspective!
Do you think you are being taken advantage of emotionally, physically, sexually or financially in your relationship? Do you want to leave but you can't seem to get away?
Learn how to break free, and why you need to!
Would you prefer to talk to someone about your situation?
If you think you are or have been in a cult or a destructive relationship, or a friend or family member might be in a cult and you want to talk to someone, send me a message on the Contact page and we can arrange to talk. All communication will be treated in the strictest confidence.
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