Personal Values and
Decision Making

What are they?

To discuss personal values and decision making, we need to be clear about what we mean. I've already given a definition of decision making. The dictionary definition of value is 'A principle, standard, or quality considered worthwhile or desirable.'

Values are a major motivating force for people because they categorise how people attach meaning, worth and importance to things. When a person's values are matched, they feel complete and satisfied. If values are not met, there is a sense of dissatisfaction, unease or incongruity. This is something to bear in mind during persuasion and negotiation.

Examples of values are health, pleasure, recognition, safety, integrity, achievement and honesty. These are all quite subjective terms, which means that they may mean different things to different people. Or even different things to the same person at different times.

How are they related?

So how are personal values and decision making related? Our personal values very much determine our goals and outcomes in life. The goals we choose are the outer expression of our personal values. And decision making is similarly based upon our core values. For a start, even choosing your goals is decision making!

A person's values will determine how they perceive any particular situation. Someone who values 'safety' will approach a situation checking for safety versus danger. A person who values 'excitement' will have a different perspective on the same situation and will be searching for different kinds of experiences.

So you understand how personal values and decision making drive each other. The values determine the outcomes set and the decision making designed to achieve them. The decision making, in turn, is organised to ensure the personal values are matched.

How can we use them?

So how can we benefit from this interaction between personal values and decision making? Well firstly, if you want to know what your personal values are, you only need to think about some of the decisions you have made. What was important to you at the time? What other factors did you consider? Of all these factors, which was most important? Least important?

Sometimes it's easier for other people to point out to you what they think your values are. It may be helpful to you to ask others about your personal values and decision making. Why? Because when you know what you're personal values are, your decision making becomes infinitely easier.

How else?

A person's identity and personality is 'held together', you could say, by their values and beliefs. And we know your personal values and decision making are intimately connected. Knowing how to make decisions that satisfy your personal values means that your sense of self is strengthened by every decision. As opposed to making decisions that somehow weaken or fragment who you are.

Consider how this might happen in a group, where different people hold different values that are at odds with each other. Or even the same value, but expressed differently. Unless there's a fundamental shift, any decision will mean that somebody's values are not being met. A useful strategy here (or indeed in any teambuilding) is to get each member to identify with particular shared values. Defining shared values is a powerful method to generate cohesion in groups.

Similarly, knowing your own values means that should there ever be a conflict, you can quickly and easily reorganise your value set to allow you to make an effective decision.

What are YOUR values?

A quick exercise to determine your own hierarchy of values is this one borrowed from NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming).

Pick a simple activity that you do frequently, such as brushing your teeth, brushing your hair or putting on socks.

Ask yourself 'What would have to happen so I did not do (the activity)?'

Then ask 'If that happened, what would have to happen so I did (the activity) anyway?'

Then 'If that happened, what would have to happen so I didn't do (the activity)?'

Repeat questions 2 and 3 until you can go no further.

This will give you a list of your own personal values in the order of importance to you.

How best to learn more

In terms of learning about your personal values and decision making, it is possible to spend a lot of time trying to work out your values, taking tests, re-evaluating them and so on. And your time would not have been best spent.

There have also been times in your life when all your values are completely aligned. You have a deep felt sense of who you are, knowing what's a match for your personal values and decision making is effortless for you.

Learning about and knowing how to establish this position for yourself is personally very powerful. It allows you to easily reorganise your personal values and decision making takes on a whole new dimension for you.